Autistic Masking

By Carly Considine

“It’s a well-known fact autistic children mask but more so for girls.”

– Carly Considine

Places like school where children are expected to conform, leads to masking in order to “fit in”. As a result, they tend to “explode” when at home in their safe place as they have some 6 hours conforming and now they can release their emotions. How do I know this? I am autistic and was only diagnosed at the age of 33 in 2015.

Why Do Girls Mask? 

Masking involves intentionally learning neurotypical behaviors and mimicking them in social situations. Girls tend to mask early on as they want to be like their peers, they want to have friends.  This, however, is part of the reason girls slip under the radar and aren’t often diagnosed until their late teens or as an adult.

When I was young, I felt a need to mask so I wasn’t picked on by my peers.  As a child I preferred to be on my own, especially at home so I could research and enjoy my interests. I’ve never been one to socialise as it’s exhausting trying to be “part of the gang”.

Imitating Peers 

Quite often, we copy facial expressions, body language and sayings people use. We constantly observe to try and fit in. For example, I have a friend who is Northern Irish and he says “aye” which is a term for yes, this word however isn’t used where I live but I have adopted the saying, because of him. My accent also changes according to who I am acquainted with.

Social Scripts

Quite often we practice scripts for social situations, for example making small talk about the weather and asking how the person is. I’ve practised this for so many years it’s now a natural thing.  We tend to think ahead on how a social occasion may go and overthink about what we should talk about.

Final Thoughts 

We often appear to be sociable but on the inside, we are desperately trying to fit in whilst we engage in conversation, however, it’s incredibly exhausting for us and it often takes days to recover.

This piece was contributed by Carly Considine

Carly was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder in 2015 at the age of 33. She also has 2 daughters on the autism spectrum. With her knowledge, she hopes to help families understand their children and teach them useful strategies.

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Carly is in the United Kingdom