Getting Lost: Preparing your Autistic Child and Yourself

By Desiree Kaur

There are many worries that parents of autistic children constantly carry with them. Their child getting lost is one of the many fears which they cannot avoid. However, it is not very much talked about as with other fears. Fears are seen as negative and there is much pressure in this day and age to “be positive”, “practice mindfulness”, “don’t think of the worst case scenario,” and the likes. Well, thinking of the worst case scenario, constantly being hypervigilant and sleepless nights worrying about our child’s future are just the tip of the iceberg of a parent or caregiver to an autistic individual. 

The concern of an autistic child getting lost can be amplified due to the unique challenges their children might face. Autistic children may have difficulty understanding danger, communicating their needs, or finding their way back to safety. It’s crucial for parents to address this topic with sensitivity and clarity, and to implement practical safety measures to help prevent such situations.

How to talk to your autistic child about getting lost?

1. Use Simple and Clear Language: Autistic children often process information differently. Use straightforward, literal language when explaining what it means to get lost and the importance of safety measures.Each individual’s processing speed is different, so adjust it to their needs. In some cases, repetition is key. 
2. Visual Supports: Visual aids like picture books, social stories, and diagrams can help explain the concept of getting lost and the steps to take if it happens. Social stories, in particular, are effective as they can be tailored to the child’s experiences and understanding. It is important to use the type of visual support that resonates best with the individual’s learning style. 
3. Role-Playing: Practice scenarios where the child might get lost. Role-playing can help them understand what actions to take, such as finding a safe adult or showing an ID bracelet or tag. Repetition can reinforce these safety steps. Remember, role-playing may not be the best approach for all. So, use your judgement before implementing this method.
4. Positive Reinforcement: Praise and reward the child when they demonstrate understanding of safety concepts. Positive reinforcement can encourage them to remember and apply these lessons. Remember also that punishments are not encouraged if they get it wrong. 
5. Consistent Messaging: Ensure that all caregivers and family members provide the same instructions and use the same language when discussing safety. Consistency helps reinforce learning. Regardless the type of method developed, ensure everyone has a copy and is briefed on the steps. It could also help to practice these safety measures with different people besides the primary caregiver. 

Some Safety Measures That Parents Could Consider 

1. Identification Tools: Equip your child with identification tools such as ID bracelets, necklaces, or tags. These should include the child’s name, a parent’s phone number, and any pertinent medical information. Ensure that the child knows to show this ID to a safe adult if they get lost. However, this is also dependent on the child’s sensory needs with clothing and accessories. Dress your child in bright, distinctive clothing that is easy to spot in a crowd. This can make it easier to locate them quickly if they wander off.
2. GPS Trackers: Consider using GPS tracking devices that can be worn as a bracelet, placed in a pocket or a backpack. Air tags are also particularly useful or if your child has their own device, ensure its GPS can be tracked from your personal mobile device.
3. Emergency Contacts: Make sure your child knows your phone number and address. Practice this regularly, using mnemonic devices or songs to help them remember. If your child has a mobile phone, ensure they know how to call or text you. Or if they are using Assistive Technology such as an AAC Device, ensure that they know how to find this option to let someone know to call you. 
4. Teach Safety Landmarks and Remember Places they are drawn to: Show your child recognizable landmarks in familiar places like parks, malls, or neighborhoods. Teach them to go to these landmarks if they get separated from you. Also, make a note of particular spaces your child is drawn to when you are on outing e.g. ponds, water features, lifts, escalator, etc. This could be the first place to look for your child that has been separated from you. 
5. Establish Meeting Points: When in public places, designate clear meeting points where the child can go if they can’t find you. Make sure these are easy for the child to recognize and remember. 
6. Safe Adults: Teach your child how to identify safe adults, such as police officers, store employees, or parents with children. Role-play asking these adults for help if they get lost. By role playing in public spaces also creates awareness amongst the public on the possibility of an autistic child needing help when they are lost. 
7. Community Awareness: Inform neighbors, teachers, and community members about your child’s needs. The more people who are aware, the more likely they are to assist if your child is found alone. Public awareness on autism and autistic traits are also quite helpful for members of the community to spot a lost autistic child.

Practice and prepare with positive reinforcement 

While the worry of your autistic child getting lost will never completely go away, these preparations could lend a helping hand to families. Remember, a useful resource on preparing for safety measures includes your child’s teachers, therapists and any other professionals your child may work with. They could prove to be a valuable resource on habits your child may have which they do not exhibit at home. These professionals could also share with you certain tips and tricks that have worked for other families. 

Reinforce safety measures regularly through practice, preparation and discussion. Even for our children who cannot speak, explain to them in simple language, repeat, practice and always be prepared. Incorporate safety drills into your routine, and review your personal safety plan periodically to ensure it remains effective and relevant. The goal is to help your child feel confident and prepared, and to provide you with some peace of mind knowing that you have taken proactive steps to ensure their safety.

The Kita Family Podcast has also recorded an episode discussing the topic of children getting lost. Watch it on YouTube.